October 2008

The Skinny: Somebody here isn't doing it
Ladies and Gentlemen good day and welcome to “The Skinny”: My recycling blog dedicated to trimming down the waste we produce here on our merry olde New.England campus.

Now, before I get down and dirty on the details I want to make it clear that I am a stark raving environmentalist with little inclination towards reality. This is why I have agents in the field. They keep me grounded and allow to relate “what’s really going on out there” with some sort of objectivity before digressing into ideology.

But enough about me. At the beginning of the school year I had a conversation with one of my agents – let’s just call him Brother J - who is currently enrolled at Cornell University about his experiences with his new housemates. It went a lil’ bit like this:

Me: Hey Brother J. What the scoop down there at Cornell. How are “the kids these days”.

Brother J: It’s crazy man. My new roommates don’t even know what recycling is.

Me: What do you mean? You mean that they don’t do it, right?

Brother J: No. They don’t know what it is. Forget fancy stuff like plastics and computers. These people don’t know the basics. I tell them, “that paper there. It’s recyclable. And that soda can. You can put it in this bin. You shouldn’t put it in the trash.” And they all looked at me like “wha???”

Me: Like “wha???”

Brother J: Yeah. Like “wha???”

Me: “Wha???”

Brother J: Exactly.

See, this is the kind of quality “on the ground” research I was talking about earlier and goes to show the immense scale of operation “The Skinny”. GREAT work Brother J. And Brother J is but one of my agents out in the field working tirelessly to give myself and the good people of Tufts University “The Skinny” on “what’s really going on out there”.

Now before you go “Those silly Ivy Leaguers. What a bunch of tools. That would never happen here at Tufts” CHECK YOURSELF. The FACTS serve to prove otherwise! Trash sorts carried out by Tufts’ very own Tufts Recycles have shown that nearly 26% of all waste in our trash bins is composed of - you guessed it - paper, cans, and bottles. The basics of recycling. SOMEBODY HERE ISN’T DOING IT.

So maybe you know better and act on that guardian instinct. If you do: strong work soldier. We approve. If you don’t: Check out what the waste bins in your dorm say right on them and according put the appropriate items in those bins. You’ll pick it up quick. And if you know somebody that doesn’t: Be like Brother J and politely educate ‘em.

The more waste we can reduce, the fewer landfills we have to make. And the fewer landfills we have to make, the fewer “Not In My BackYard” campaigns we’ll have that are only trying to keep somebody else’s garbage out of their municipality but end up inadvertently destroying all federal protection provided to our nation’s isolated wetlands. Whew. But that’s a discussion for another time.

See you next time…